That Brass Band At England Games

My unbridled optimism going into the 2010 World Cup has surprised even me. As a matter of record, before the tournament starts, here's my prediction:
England are going to win the 2010 World Cup.
What's more, we're not going to deserve to. Not really anyway. We're going to witness a vast outpouring of years and years of accumulated good luck and we are going to take the trophy in the spawniest manner ever witnessed. It is going to be excellent.
I can't see anything getting in the way of this except for one ever-present beacon of shitness that ruins every single international game for me, sitting at home watching the TV with a Red Stripe. And I don't mean ITV broadcasting the game (though it frequently makes me want to eat my own ears).
No, I mean that FUCKING BRASS BAND.
A quick search of the net reveals them to be The Wednesday Band. So annoying that their own club (Sheffield Weds) had to take a poll to decide whether to ban them from their own games.
Perhaps if they learned the rest of The Self Preservation Society it might be tolerable. Or a harmony part to their new "hit" The A-Team Theme. But just repeating the same 4 or 5 note phrases over leaden drumbeats only serves as a reminder of how uncolourful and flairless our national side can frequently be and how Mum-and-Dad-with-a-packed-lunch the travelling support always appears.
So, I beg of you brass band, leave the instruments in England for this World Cup. Or, if you're the poor bastards who have re-mortgaged their house to be in S.Africa and you get sat next to them then do the decent thing and pass on the news that the whole of the country's genuine football fanbase wishes they would shut the fuck up and stop making us all look like retarded xenophobic hand-clapping monkeys. It's our surefire way to winning this thing.
COME ON ENGLAND!

Fender Jazzmaster For Sale

I'm selling this peach of a Fender Jazzmaster on behalf of a friend who has too many of them. It's a 1990s Crafted In Japan model. Originally sunburst, the first owner damaged the body putting a surface split along one of the joins in the 3-piece body. It was professionally repared at a cost in excess of the value of the guitar and refinished in this rather fetching cross between Sherwood Green and Lake Placid Blue making it look a little like a LPB that's faded and "greened" over time. It keeps it's original far-too-bright Japanese scratchplate and looks good for it. Set up for heavy strings, it's currently strung with flatwounds and has been used as a studio tool only since my friend switched to a modern black Jazzmaster. It has it's usual share of dings and scrapes from gigs, a small cigarette-burn on the rear of the neck and visible checking along the wood joins on the body (though not the same crack from the original repair strangely - this is something that these CIJ Fenders seem to suffer from as my friend Neil's similar guitar split along it's join for no reason - this is nowhere near as bad).
He is looking for somewhere around £475 for what is a fantastic and very unique Jazzmaster so let me know if you fancy it.

Only In America

Kogumaza L&S014 7"

Kogumaza Rowan Maeve b/w Phantom Itch, limited to 300 copies on Lancashire & Somerset Records on transparent yellow vinyl in a foil-embossed sleeve. Out now: www.lancashireandsomerset.co.uk (just use the contact email to get ordering details)
Or you can buy them from us at any of these upcoming gigs:

MAY
7 CHINCHILLAFEST at LEEDS BRUDENELL SOCIAL CLUB w/Marvin, Cowtown, Cissy, Spectrals
8 NOTTINGHAM CHAMELEON w/Marvin, Grande Duke
9 DERBY VINES w/Marvin, Grande Duke
13 LIVERPOOL LEAF CAFE w/Enablers, White Foal, Sugar Life

JUNE
2 MANCHESTER RETRO BAR w/Remember Remember, David Thomas Broughton
3 NOTTINGHAM SPANKY VAN DYKES w/Scout Niblett