For Sale - 70s Lawsuit Set Neck Les Paul Custom

Financial ruin means I'm selling this CMI Les Paul. I bought it in a bit of a state and have invested a lot of time and effort getting it right but last-in/first-out is always the way and it's got to go. Click the photos to head to Flickr where you can read the relevant info. If you're interested drop me a line at honeyisfunny(AT)fastmail(DOT)fm

Pics:

EBay Frustration

I'm selling a cheap and cheerful guitar on EBay at the moment to raise some funds. Here's a genuine message exchange I've just had:

Hi...
Funny how time shows how the now legendary Japanese consistency of quality is really a very recent phenomenon.
I too had experience of the Sumbro brand in the early seventies (mainly SG copies) and while I have seen some nice examples subsequently, the dozen, or so I handled were assembled using what were without doubt the cheapest, nastiest, hardware fitted to any guitar at the time... The chrome on the pickup covers flamed off as they left he shop, the machine heads rattled when unstrung and the plywood bodies were as lively as concrete posts.
- b**dicus27


Dear b**dicus27,

Erm... thanks...
I would suggest not bidding then and perhaps making better use of your time? Write a novel perhaps? Break the elusive code in the Taman Shud case from Australia in the 1940s (Google it: well worth a read)?
Or better still, learn some manners maybe? Let me know if you ever put your house on the market and I'll pop over and point out faults in other people's guttering I have seen.
Regards,
Chris


Dear chris_summerlin,

Firstly, youll have to forgive the grammer and spelling, as this device has its own, strange predictive text system.

If you'd bothered to read my last message properly, you will see that I was remarking on the inconsistency regarding the quality of early 1970s Japanese manufacturing, while making it absolutely clear that the Sumbro guitars I came across after that dismally poor batch of a dozen, or so I had to sell were not of such a poor standard.

if youre going to spend your time exalting the quality of a marque in order to raise its standing in the eyes of those who know no better and may be about to give you money, and you actually care one jot about courtesy and manners, you should be prepared to be corrected and accept an equal amount of valid criticism when you perceive it instead of throwing a tantrum.

As for what I do with my time.... Not that it has anything to do with you...... If you believe it's wrong for me to point it out when someone makes blanket statements without giving a balanced view, then your opinion of what is and what isn't good manners requires serious adjustment.

My state of health means that I do indeed have too much time on my hands. I probably do spend too much time reading some of the drivel people write in heir listings and if you think that an Ill considered tirade from someone not even capable of reading a statement properly is likely to bother me more than an untreatable illness, your intellectual faculties are dismally lacking.

The only reason I took the time to read your listing is that I would have liked to have another 70s Gibson copy to go with my others, but I can honestly say that after your arrogant response to my previous message, I wouldn't buy a Gold plated Sheraton off you if it was advertised for free.

Don't bother replying, as I will delete any further communication from you without even reading it.
- b**dicus27


Dear b**dicus27,

Look pal - you messaged *me*. I answered. The listing says clearly what the pros and cons of the instrument are. Check my other sales of guitars - all positive feedback, all happy people, all fair prices. Hence this is 90 quid start, no reserve as opposed to the 250 quid or more that Sumbros, Mayas, CSLs, Kimbaras etc etc often get.
I *did* read your message carefully, it was speculating on the variable quality of these instruments. No question about the item, just a statement that somehow implies that I am being misleading in my description so excuse me if I failed to pick up on your interest. Fact is, I don't care about the variable quality of the instruments, I care about the quality of *this* particular instrument because that's the one I am selling. I'm not selling all of them ever made. I have described the quality more than adequately in the listing as opposed to "exalting" it. Warts and all with pictures to show them.
What you do with your time has everything to do with me if you spend it writing to me. Sorry to hear about your health but if you think that gives you carte blanche to be snooty about a listing for a 90 quid guitar, then I'd still recommend writing that novel I suggested - we all need to spend our time more wisely on this planet. Unfortunately, the internet is a handy distraction to that.

Sincere best wishes,
Chris


Auction is here if you want to critique my description too...

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=290577836668&ssPageName=STRK:MESELX:IT

"Lawsuit" Gibson SG For Sale

Just got a bill for finally repairing my Fender Twin Reverb after years of gigging and tour-rentals to Erase Errata and Gang Gang Dance and a million more. It's hefty so I have to clear out some stuff... I'm selling my spare "lawsuit" SG (right). I bought it as a back-up for my Antoria SG (left) not long ago. It uses the same body and neck type but differs in the hardware. It has a fixed bridge and tailpiece and the bridge itself is a level bar type not a Tun-o-matic copy. It intonates very nicely though. The strap peg on the back is on the neck heel as opposed to the body. The tuners have been swapped out for 6-a-side ones which means the top 3 wind the wrong way. If I can find the set off the Antoria (I swapped them for some Grovers I had lying around) then I'll include them in the sale if you want to put it back to stock. The pickups appear to have both been changed. The neck looks like a normal period-correct Super 70 type but the pickguard has been cut along the top edge suggesting it's been installed later. The bridge one is a mystery. Looks a bit like a Univox but it isn't. It's dead as a dodo though. A quick glance under the pickguard suggests a home installation by someone about as skilled as I am. I suspect this is what confined this guitar to the cupboard of the previous owner. In any case I am confident a re-wire would get this mysterious pickup firing again.

Other stuff: there are stress cracks at the neck heel like just about every other guitar of this era with a bolt-on neck. Nothing to sweat about. It's missing about an inch of binding on the treble side of the neck too. Another common problem. At least the inlays on the fretboard haven't dropped out. So there you go. It's cheap so msg me if you want it.

More pics: http://www.flickr.com/photos/sumlin/

Fender Jazzmaster For Sale

I'm selling this peach of a Fender Jazzmaster on behalf of a friend who has too many of them. It's a 1990s Crafted In Japan model. Originally sunburst, the first owner damaged the body putting a surface split along one of the joins in the 3-piece body. It was professionally repared at a cost in excess of the value of the guitar and refinished in this rather fetching cross between Sherwood Green and Lake Placid Blue making it look a little like a LPB that's faded and "greened" over time. It keeps it's original far-too-bright Japanese scratchplate and looks good for it. Set up for heavy strings, it's currently strung with flatwounds and has been used as a studio tool only since my friend switched to a modern black Jazzmaster. It has it's usual share of dings and scrapes from gigs, a small cigarette-burn on the rear of the neck and visible checking along the wood joins on the body (though not the same crack from the original repair strangely - this is something that these CIJ Fenders seem to suffer from as my friend Neil's similar guitar split along it's join for no reason - this is nowhere near as bad).
He is looking for somewhere around £475 for what is a fantastic and very unique Jazzmaster so let me know if you fancy it.

Kogumaza L&S014 7"

Kogumaza Rowan Maeve b/w Phantom Itch, limited to 300 copies on Lancashire & Somerset Records on transparent yellow vinyl in a foil-embossed sleeve. Out now: www.lancashireandsomerset.co.uk (just use the contact email to get ordering details)
Or you can buy them from us at any of these upcoming gigs:

MAY
7 CHINCHILLAFEST at LEEDS BRUDENELL SOCIAL CLUB w/Marvin, Cowtown, Cissy, Spectrals
8 NOTTINGHAM CHAMELEON w/Marvin, Grande Duke
9 DERBY VINES w/Marvin, Grande Duke
13 LIVERPOOL LEAF CAFE w/Enablers, White Foal, Sugar Life

JUNE
2 MANCHESTER RETRO BAR w/Remember Remember, David Thomas Broughton
3 NOTTINGHAM SPANKY VAN DYKES w/Scout Niblett

Kogumaza 7" Released Today

The first of two Kogumaza 7 inches is released today by the lovely Low Point label. It has two songs on it, you can listen to both here: http://www.low-point.com/LP032.html
It's limited to 300 copies and comes on transparent red vinyl in a yellow paper sleeve. Why not buy one when we play this: http://www.rescuerooms.com/index.php?option=com_dhpevents&Itemid=71&eventid=347 ?

Elvis Print

I did this for my Mum for Xmas. It's Elvis doing Guitar Man with Al Casey's red Hagstrom Viking on the 1968 Comeback Special. I have a handful of test prints of this if anyone would like to buy one. They are a little bigger than A3 in size (approx 31 x 44 cm) and are litho printed onto heavyweight matt-finish paper. They are a little more expensive than my normal gig posters and can be signed if you so desire.

Kogumaza 7" Artwork

Mock-up of the forthcoming Kogumaza 7" on Low Point for the purposes of checking how the colours fit together. It's transparent red vinyl with (deliberately off-centre so it looks wobbly when it plays) blue labels and it comes in a golden yellow vintage 7" sleeve that we're getting in bulk from the US. Songs are "Sevens" and "Mara" and it'll be out as soon as it all comes back from the manufacturers.
Both songs have just been put up here to listen to as well: www.myspace.com/oogamaza

Felix LP

I keep meaning to post a link to this:



Out now. Buy one whydontyou? Photo-diary of our recent UK tour to follow...

Limited Edition "Tiger" Screenprint

My first ever limited edition print is available on pre-order now from I Dress Myself by signing up to their mailing list which will give you first dibs on all their other marvellous print-based goodies. It goes on sale to everyone else on February 11th. It's a seven colour print on 270gsm paper measuring B2 size (50 x 70 cm) and thanks to Pete's patience and skills it looks lovely. The illustration was originally done for a poster for the Get Hustle back in 2007. Here's my page over at the IDM website: http://www.idressmyself.co.uk/shop/artist/chris-summerlin
There are plans afoot for a t-shirt design that will be the ultimate addition to any Fender Jaguar/Jazzmaster fan's wardrobe too. Watch this space...

Bilge Pump Shirts

At long last, Bilge Pump have T-shirts in preparation for their upcoming European Tour. I designed them (on a 2 inch square Post-It note in the pub), Norm printed them and Balders is seen modelling them above in a very, very sexy manner. Gringo will have them in the online shop soon...

New Lords 7"

Sleeve art for forthcoming split 7" between Lords and Black Feelings from Canada on sexy purple wax. We contributed Space And Death Recipe which is a new song recorded after our ATP show in May. Black Feelings contribute Lost Rings Pt.1 which is something of a psych masterpiece reigned into 5 minutes or so. All in all, well worth adding to the shoeboxes under your bed. http://www.weberecords.comWe Be Records has all the info...

TV Adverts

Working from home means sitting in front of Dave all day in my pants eating eggs. There, I admit it. It means I have become very familiar with TV advertising to the point where I can recite certain ads word for word. I'm not proud of this. Here are a few that have been making me consider a career change of late:

Glade Air Freshener



"I want to do a poo in Paul's bathroom"
"No problem kid. Here's what's going to happen. Fuck off to Paul's house and have a poo and then when you're done see if Paul's Mum will wipe your shitty arse because I seriously fucking doubt it"

Optimax Laser Eye Treatment



This one is on the Freeview channels more than Jeremy Clarkson and it makes me wish someone would invent the mind eraser from Men In Black so I could wipe clean each of the twenty thousand times I've heard this woman say:
"I really do just bang on about it to anyone"
Do you? Do you maybe stop to consider they might not care? Isn't talking wildly about one subject to anyone indiscriminantly a sure sign of impending madness?
Amazingly, I couldn't find it online, save for this You Tube clip that appears to have been made by someone I feel a deep kinship with.

Peter Halpin's Cornering Of The Market





I am sure Peter Halpin is a nice guy. I hold nothing against him. And I know that the people in adverts are actors and actresses, even the ones for washing powders that are filmed shakily to make it more 'real'. I understand that. But I see this guy so many times in a day that when I dream he's started taking the place of my Dad.

Actually I just found this: http://www.youtube.com/user/peterwhalpin

and within it this:



I take it all back. Has someone superimposed END DAYS over the top of this montage or am I seeing things?

Samsung



"Act like a cunt to whoever you meet as long as it benefits you". As though anyone anywhere is doing anything remotely constructive with any of the time they have gained back by using faster technology. We use Broadband and hi-speed communications in order that we can sit around doing nothing more often, complaining that we're bored. Fact.
And you know when an advertiser uses a regional accent it's to soften the blow of an evil message by making it more friendly, more down-to-earth. Until they start using Norfolk accents in adverts for any other reason than comedy, I will remain unconvinced.

Berocca



Hard day at the office advertising guys? How on Earth did you think of this? That awesome dance routine, with treadmills and a vaguely 80s style pop song? Oh wait a second...



If sitting around all day on the internet is what it takes to work in advertising then where's my job?

Grrrr. More soon. Unless I do get a job of course.

Famous in Notts

http://www.leftlion.co.uk/photo-galleries.cfm/id/284

The Big Gig Poster Clearout!

I am in the process of moving house over the next month or so. Right now in my 'dining room' is a huge plan chest filled with poster prints. Hundreds of them. If I were more patient I would do some form of stock take on them but my stock take in reality consists of me looking at this Volvo-sized cabinet and thinking: "I cannot be arsed to move this to another house".
In short, I want to get rid of these things. They take up tons of room, I want a dining room in my new house not a room filled with crap.

So, I have done lots of offers on these things but basically they're £5 per poster. However, because I need to shift as many of them as I can I'm going to say for every THREE anyone buys I'll chuck one in for free. Making 4 posters cost less than 4 quid each.

Here's the blurb on them:

I've designed over 200 posters for shows over the last 7 or so years.
These are posters made first and foremost to promote the shows in question, they were printed up at the time and plastered over venue walls, pub toilets and other exciting places. I even put one on a guy's back once and let him walk round Nottingham with it for a day before he noticed. That's another story though.

I started re-printing these in very small numbers a few years back. They're all a little larger than A3 in size (somewhere around 310mm wide by 430 mm high give our take a few mmmmmms) and they fit very pleasingly into a standard clip frame from Wilkos. They're litho-printed using a machine that cost a million pounds. This isn't a joke, it really cost a million pounds. Needless to say, I don't own it. It lays the colours down as pure tones meaning these look absolutely perfect, bright, vibrant and flawless. They're also printed on various types on heavy paper stock, usually Splendorgel (if you're in the business). That means very thick, matt-textured paper if you're not. They look and feel (and smell) tremendous.

A HUGE GALLERY OF THEM ALL IS HERE: http://www.honeyisfunny.com/catalogue.html

And there are also limited prints of illustrations I have done for magazines like Plan B. A more complete gallery is on my Flickr site here:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/sumlin/sets/72157594212951999/

So thats:
£5 EACH or FOUR FOR £15

Plus postage to your part of the planet which is: £2.50 in the UK and £3.50 elsewhere. To a maximum of 4 posters per tube.

I accept the wonderful rip-off Paypal (though ask that we split the fees they impose if that's cool), cheque or glorious cash.

Bear in mind I have limited numbers of some of these so if you want to send a cheque or cash then bear in mind it has to be first come first served so please list alternatives. I guess that's the benefit of paying instantly with Paypal. I knew there had to be one benefit...

　
Any questions, or to order or check availability, email me at:
honeyisfunnyATfastmailDOTfm
(replace the AT with @ and the DOT with a dot!)

Supersonic

Just got back from this year's Supersonic Festival in Birmingham. Pictures when I have time to wade through the 700 shots I drunkenly took of Monotonix. The festival was splendid as ever and as if they didn't look after you enough, there is a limited edition LP (on appealing spunk-coloured vinyl) on the Capsule label that documents Harvey Milk's 1st ever UK show, headlining last year (pictured above). They were a comprehensive mindmelt that finished off my brain. They also made Ross McGivern take a running celebratory hoof at what he thought was a beercan only to find out (upon high speed foot contact) that it was a steel fixture for mounting a fountain that wasn't going anywhere even if you drove a truck into it. Picture (not for the faint hearted): http://photos-a.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-sf2p/v295/228/78/622891490/n622891490_1045504_677.jpg
Commemorate this stupid injury and our night spent in Selly Oak casualty by purchasing this glorious chunk of wax:
http://www.capsule.org.uk/blog/2009/08/harvey-milk-live-at-supersonic-08/

My Lucky Horse - An Appeal

One of the achievements in my life I am least proud of is that (according to their old website) I have played the now-deceased-but-soon-to-be-revived Highbury Garage venue in London 18 times. That is a colossal waste of anyone's time.
Early on in this procession of pointless jaunts down the motorways of England, I developed a bit of a superstition.
On the Archway Road, in Highgate, there used to be a shop called E.Ploton Sundries that sold art equipment on the right hand side as you come into London. The address is 273 Archway Road.

In the window above the shop is a fantastic ornament of a horse. It's about 12 inches across and looks like it's made out of painted white wood, or maybe even ivory.
Before E.Ploton closed, Flickr user London RIP took this photo of the shopfront and you can see 'my' horse clearly in the window above it on the right:



I have no idea what made me notice it but when I did, the gig that followed went very well. So well that next trip down I made a point of looking at the horse as we entered London.
And so it's gone on. Everytime we go to London for music I have to set eyes on the horse or it's a guaranteed bad gig. I'd even drive out of my way to see it. I have taken a few pictures of it over the years, all from passing cars and all terrible. I even made the band Fixit Kid detour and stop the van on the way back from a gig in Camden that had gone horribly so that I could show them where the horse is for future trips to London.
A while ago, the lovely signage of E.Ploton was removed to make way for it's new tenants Orchid Florists who are still in there now.
I guess the room it resides in is a flat. The horse has been there for over 10 years now easily so it has to belong to someone who lives there as opposed to it being a store room or something.

So here is my appeal. If you own the horse then name your price. I will pay anything within reason for the horse. Or I can trade you something for the horse. Or, if you require some graphics work doing I will oblige in exchange for the horse. If you live near the horse then please relay my appeal to the owners of the horse. If you work in Orchid under the horse then please get in touch with insider information on the horse.
It's become such an important part of my gigging life that I feel owning it myself would somehow align the universe. It'd certainly make my front room look at least 600% more awesome at the very least.

Thanks for reading. I know one day I'll drive past and it won't be there anymore, I'd like that to be because it's in my front room.

Ferrari 308 GTB

I need someone to loan me £35,000. Or give me it, that'd be better actually.

I'll get round to writing about the full depth of my closet petrol-head-ness some other time. Put simply though, I love cars. Not all of them I might add. Modern cars do nothing for me (with the possible exception of the recent Maserati GT). But the mid 1960s to late 1970s work by Italian design house Pininfarina made my 10 year old self go all funny and it still does now. Leonardo Fiovaranti's work for the company represents a pinnacle of design for me and out of the amazing shapes he dreamt up, the Ferrari 308 is still the top of my list.

It was conceived as a replacement for the "junior Ferrari", the Dino. Like the Dino, it wasn't even meant to be badged as a Ferrari until a last minute change of plan came about.

I think I could draw one of these in side profile with my eyes closed. As time went on (and also as more of these relatively cheap Ferraris wound up in the hands of people with more cash than taste) the 308 grew unsightly bulges and appendages, but the first version - the fibreglass-bodied 308GTB - is still the high point of sports car design to my eyes. Even now, most mid-engined sports cars follow the 308's flying buttresses and curved flanks as a blueprint. Ferrari themselves have based all of their 'entry-level' cars on the 308 in some way since and even the 'super-Ferraris' of the time, the 288GTO and F40, were based on the humble 308.

Concious that it wasn't the fastest or most spectacular car they'd ever produced, prototypes and 'press' cars at the time were always in subtle colours like silver, blue or brown to accentuate it's pretty lines. The 308 was a rarity - a Ferrari that didn't look best in red. That hasn't stopped most of these cars ending up 're-sale red' over time though. Blame Magnum PI.

When I was a kid I had lots of pictures of Ferraris on my walls. The 308 I wanted most though was the demonstrator model from the photos of the time when the car was launched in the UK by importers Maranello Concessionaires. It was a silver fibreglass-bodied car with a deep red interior.

Which brings me on to why I need £35,000. The very same car is for sale: http://www.classiccarsforsale.co.uk/classic-car-page.php/carno/54920

Exactly as I remember it. NPA900P. No one has thought to add a picnic table rear wing, re-paint it red or put some 'bling' alloys on it. It's exactly as it left the factory and went onto my wall.

I accept Paypal or cheque.

As an aside, if anyone out there lucky enough to own a 308, or in fact any interesting car, wants to swap letting me have a go in it for a one-off illustration of their car printed on heavyweight paper stock then get in touch. I'd love to draw some cars again, though I would wager I was better at it when I was 10:

Guitar For Sale

If you like guitars that look amazing, are the size and weight of the average horse and are a sonic nervous-breakdown then my financial disaster is your gain. "Thomas" is for sale:



http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&ssPageName=STRK:MESELX:IT&item=290306867623

January Sales

The big January clear-out. All in fine fettle. Click the photo for the details.