Friday, April 24, 2009


Flickr is a strange thing. It's a great idea and a brilliantly designed website that successfully turns the internet into a photo album. I am a big fan.

However, it's also a wanking hotspot. Seriously. I don't know if people don't realise that there is real pornography (anything you can imagine too!) on the internet for free or maybe it's just that people prefer things that are more 'real'. I dunno.

I was discussing this the other night. I use Flickr quite a lot to research images for illustrations for my work and so I have a fairly varied range of topics that I might do a search on. With the safety filters off I can guarantee you that within 2 pages of any search you will find a) photos of a transvestite or b) a man having a wank. Try it. Not at work though. We tried it and sure enough, there was Helmut (it's mainly Germans it seems) in a pair of tights with his balls out.
Some of the images you find will burn themselves onto your retina forever. You've been warned.

Now, one look at my favourites will show you I like a picture of a lady as much as anyone (as well as a disturbing amount of pictures of cars - don't judge me) but I like good photos, photos that are meant to be looked at for their appeal or attractiveness and are taken and presented with that in mind.
Not everyone does though and you can be left with the slightly souring thought that someone, somewhere (Germany, let's be honest) is hunched double over your holiday photos.

You can see, through Flickr's Stats application, how many people are looking at your photos and why - it shows what people search for and how they arrive at your page.
I recently went to Ireland to visit Elvis and Jo and I took a barrel-load of photos there. They're all in a set here:
They all have an average number of views. Maybe 5 or so each. Some of the more attractive ones have 10 views but nothing really sticks out. Apart from a few. Here are some of them:

Standing In Clouds

Orange Sunlight


Chris' House

Can you see a pattern between them? Apart from each of them having over 100 views (and one having closer to 300). I can't. Or rather I couldn't until Flickr user Kinkywelies added this comment to one of them:



Wellington Boots? I like ladies' footwear as much as anyone but wellies? And adding a comment to a photo that's blatantly a holiday snap? Isn't that a bit weird? Only one of my pics is even tagged with anything that would alert the wellie-watchers but yet any pic from that set that even looks like it has wellingtons in it has 100 views which means, worryingly, that people have actually looked through all my holiday pictures for things they can... I don't even want to think about it.
You think that's weird? How about this photo of the legendary stuffed gorilla (they shot it in the groin and when faced with reconstructing a gorilla's penis, looked at evolution and opted to give it a human one instead) at Wollaton Hall in Nottingham?

Gorilla's cock

At last count it was at 3,681 views. What about this one:

Day 3: Wooden pecker

Joe Mask with broken umbrella handle out of his flies. Hilariously funny. Flickr user sdw970 thinks so. He added a comment "Cool!". Which it is. It's got Joe Mask in it. But then you look at his favourites. I'm not going to link it. If you want to see it then you can find it. But don't do it at work. In fact, just don't do it.

Be careful out there.


Anonymous said...


Niche Homo said...

oh god, I looked at his favourites. why would you even bring attention to something like that?

Chris Summerlin said...

Soz lads. I did warn you.